It has been so long since I wrote to you. Hordes of things have been hovering over my mind so it has become imperative to address you.
You have always been an epitome of my life and work-your perspective as I had understood or known my touchstone to gauge the rightness or otherwise. Your commitment to the country was absolute, unquestionable, uncompromising, and thorough. Your relentless struggle for survival is engraved on my mind and how even a bit of money in pocket would lure you to buy Amul butter and fruits for your kids. Your being so rooted in idealism made you so often oblivious of hard mundane realities and needs of day to day life.
Your love for literature and English language was inimitable and I can recall how you would climb a score stairs to let your children know the meaning of a particular word from the stock of Dictionaries you had got imported in your hay days. The way you would read out articles or narrate from Great Speeches of the World is still fresh on the mind. Imperishable are the memories of how you would make us rehearse to deliver a speech in declamation or debate a topic, how very particular about tone, accent, intonation, pronunciation! And over cups of tea how you would think aloud and make us prepare a speech. We are amongst those chosen blessed children whose doting father would make it to all venues where such competitions were held and your presence was so motivating!
I wonder how many of parents are really like you unmindful of the fruit of the action-the reward or a prize- but most particular about the performance, the action. Remember when I won the city TT championship you weren’t happy because you found that my competitor played better though I had won and I could only agree with you. It was amazing to see you play Lawn Tennis in Abohar Club. I was frail little child then and you taught me how to play Table Tennis- the game I have kept my interest alive in though the degree has lessened proportionate to the degree I have gained weight-something I feel quite uncomfortable about.
Your hospitality was unmatched. Serving a sweet to all guests was bare essential-a mandatory-whether or not there were two square meals!
The thought and feel of your sensitivity still touches the heart. Small gestures of support would always be cherished by you. How you appreciated the doctor’s statement: ‘about payment neither I am in a hurry nor have any worry’-and you would proudly acknowledge this with gratitude. Never in your life you could accept any insensitive remark or observation and retaliated with anger or when you could not, you seemed to take it to heart.
We could assess your mood the moment you entered the house after visit to 'the fort'- if good then you would be telling how the little sparrows had asked as to when Bagloo Gugloo would come to meet them; if it was bad it would embark upon intensive clear the-the -clutter campaign. One thing was remarkable-the total transparency -in doing, thinking, being-no variance ever visible!
I can never forget when I saw you cry asking for forgiveness from your pride-the eldest of your seven daughters-Neelam di after a day long silence mode of both father and daughter following a skirmish during a discussion; and I can never forget how you had jumped with joy on my having got (just! even though only!) 201/400 marks in MA I and you gave me equal amount of money as shabaash from you; and how I was in delirium due to high fever/typhoid and every time I opened my eyes during that night, it was to find your hand on my forehead.
You had not been blessed with much of material wealth and comfort of life but never did we see you in spirits low-always with your Bholenath in your pocket, you always seemed to be living on a higher plain. You were not a believer but the way you recited 'jeev em sharda shatam..' we can still hear the resonance of the same while performing Havan; and how you would believe in 'Shraadh'-perhaps having lost both mother and father at an early age made you do the ritual religiously.
I have often wondered how you could after all afford to remain so positive in thinking and doing despite all the testing times and allied tribulations. Your favourite lines and how joyously you used to sing still reverberate: 'kookaburra sits in the old gum tree/ merry merry king of the bush is he/ laugh, kookaburra, laugh...making us all imagine ourselves as kookaburras !
After almost two decades since we lost you, we realized why you had to go so early-perhaps you would not have been able to bear the loss of your daughters!
Your open mindedness while interacting with us was so precious, it put such confidence in us to be responsible in equal measure. I do not remember if I could ever tell you that I loved you but I just hope you knew it and still do. Life never could be the same again after you left but we had Mom who kept our morale high, enthused us with her never-say-die spirit and never let us grieve!
Blessed are we to have had you as our father and Mom as our Mom.
You have always been an epitome of my life and work-your perspective as I had understood or known my touchstone to gauge the rightness or otherwise. Your commitment to the country was absolute, unquestionable, uncompromising, and thorough. Your relentless struggle for survival is engraved on my mind and how even a bit of money in pocket would lure you to buy Amul butter and fruits for your kids. Your being so rooted in idealism made you so often oblivious of hard mundane realities and needs of day to day life.
Your love for literature and English language was inimitable and I can recall how you would climb a score stairs to let your children know the meaning of a particular word from the stock of Dictionaries you had got imported in your hay days. The way you would read out articles or narrate from Great Speeches of the World is still fresh on the mind. Imperishable are the memories of how you would make us rehearse to deliver a speech in declamation or debate a topic, how very particular about tone, accent, intonation, pronunciation! And over cups of tea how you would think aloud and make us prepare a speech. We are amongst those chosen blessed children whose doting father would make it to all venues where such competitions were held and your presence was so motivating!
I wonder how many of parents are really like you unmindful of the fruit of the action-the reward or a prize- but most particular about the performance, the action. Remember when I won the city TT championship you weren’t happy because you found that my competitor played better though I had won and I could only agree with you. It was amazing to see you play Lawn Tennis in Abohar Club. I was frail little child then and you taught me how to play Table Tennis- the game I have kept my interest alive in though the degree has lessened proportionate to the degree I have gained weight-something I feel quite uncomfortable about.
Your hospitality was unmatched. Serving a sweet to all guests was bare essential-a mandatory-whether or not there were two square meals!
The thought and feel of your sensitivity still touches the heart. Small gestures of support would always be cherished by you. How you appreciated the doctor’s statement: ‘about payment neither I am in a hurry nor have any worry’-and you would proudly acknowledge this with gratitude. Never in your life you could accept any insensitive remark or observation and retaliated with anger or when you could not, you seemed to take it to heart.
We could assess your mood the moment you entered the house after visit to 'the fort'- if good then you would be telling how the little sparrows had asked as to when Bagloo Gugloo would come to meet them; if it was bad it would embark upon intensive clear the-the -clutter campaign. One thing was remarkable-the total transparency -in doing, thinking, being-no variance ever visible!
I can never forget when I saw you cry asking for forgiveness from your pride-the eldest of your seven daughters-Neelam di after a day long silence mode of both father and daughter following a skirmish during a discussion; and I can never forget how you had jumped with joy on my having got (just! even though only!) 201/400 marks in MA I and you gave me equal amount of money as shabaash from you; and how I was in delirium due to high fever/typhoid and every time I opened my eyes during that night, it was to find your hand on my forehead.
You had not been blessed with much of material wealth and comfort of life but never did we see you in spirits low-always with your Bholenath in your pocket, you always seemed to be living on a higher plain. You were not a believer but the way you recited 'jeev em sharda shatam..' we can still hear the resonance of the same while performing Havan; and how you would believe in 'Shraadh'-perhaps having lost both mother and father at an early age made you do the ritual religiously.
I have often wondered how you could after all afford to remain so positive in thinking and doing despite all the testing times and allied tribulations. Your favourite lines and how joyously you used to sing still reverberate: 'kookaburra sits in the old gum tree/ merry merry king of the bush is he/ laugh, kookaburra, laugh...making us all imagine ourselves as kookaburras !
After almost two decades since we lost you, we realized why you had to go so early-perhaps you would not have been able to bear the loss of your daughters!
Your open mindedness while interacting with us was so precious, it put such confidence in us to be responsible in equal measure. I do not remember if I could ever tell you that I loved you but I just hope you knew it and still do. Life never could be the same again after you left but we had Mom who kept our morale high, enthused us with her never-say-die spirit and never let us grieve!
Blessed are we to have had you as our father and Mom as our Mom.
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