One last post-of 2012

Once a mentor, guide and philosopher friend said:' you don't always have to roll up sleeves, just do it with ease'. The other day a faqeer like sage said: let go, let loosen your fold give up all efforts  for when you are in deep waters your efforts matter not so just let go. In the former there was a worldly advice that it doesn't always call for being-ready-for-the-fight when it comes to making mind to take some decisions. The latter symbolized total surrender -sharnagati.

 A new year eve is perfect setting for such a state of mind and being.

My family  has  dubbed me an anti-social being for the reasons obvious that I show little inclination and hardly availability of any time when it comes to socialising in normal parlance though on occasions I feel my being somewhere can make a positive difference, I do not miss it either.

Social networking I started with an invite or out of curiosity but my infrequent visits, my inability to respond, my casual and not very zealous presence there and inability to share in spirit of simple sharing makes me a misfit there. I must confess they all are very generous, kind hearted, benevolent people there- the confimed friends but I find myself lacking in responding as graciously, actively, spiritedly so its better to be missed there than spoiling the broth or sprinkling negativity. My own cocoon makes me feel better than facebook which makes me face music I sometimes cannot handle nor appreciate.

What's 2013 portending? Hibernation? Turtle like getting into hiding? A quiet seclusion? An agyaatvaas?

Naaa. No rolling up of sleeves. All things are part of the game and till its on let's play on..so let the music be on and lights too and why not !! Afterall I too may learn to sing  to the tune of my heartbeat and yesss ! may even dance to the music my Creator has bestowed upon me in abundance and while dancing I may write and create, scribble, pen, paint 'khushi' !!Eureka!!

 Happy New Year !!

The year ending and beginning

 Over the years that I have been associated with Gita Jayanti in Kurukshetra, the atmosphere around Brahmsarover during the celebration of Kurukshetra Utsav has  an electric current like force and there is no way one can help being affected by it- the cool, decorated, attractive  ambience , the noisy mela-dom, the hustle bustle, the number of cultural events taking place and varied sounds of katha on one end, Raas Leela on other, Sufi singing in late evenings-all this lends exquisite charm. It energizes, uplifts, boosts indeed.

In a way the  festivities starting from Gita jayanti through Christmas to New year put us in celebration mode, I feel albeit for some only the latter would suffice.

On the other hand,the end of the year invariably sets in motion the recollections of emotions in somewhat tranquility, the remembrances of the days and months gone by, the somewhat dis-comforting feel of yet-another-year-about-to-be-over, the feel of growing in years etc etc.

 It is almost natural to look back, go down the farthest end of memory lane and more often than not the hordes of impressions  stuck in the psyche like black and white visuals enliven  to make one sad sometimes and sometimes smile. In fact everything about the year ending seems to hasten towards the end, make us reach conclusions and  almost decisively we tend to be judgmental, make up our mind for fresh starts, new beginnings, get into mode of welcoming a much awaited dawn of new promises to keep(at least we feel we are for sure going to 'keep').

The foggy early mornings, the smog during the day and dusk, the chill caused by cold wave, the scarcity of sun shining bright add solemnity and seriousness to otherwise intensity and romance exuding environs -both inside and outside.

Thanks to the exposure facilitated by the ever increasing number of satellite channels, the spirit of celebration takes the better of drowsy numbness which the impending ending of the year seems all set to cause. We are swept off by the high tide of celebratory mode the world is in and the fears, anxieties, the self drawn conclusions on life and relationships take the back seat (- for the better, of course) and we tend to let go, sail and fly with the tide and the wind and the spirit to live life king size even the 'winter's furious rages' cannot dampen. Thank you, God , for connecting closely a fresh beginning with a fag end symbolising that this  earth is blessed,  today is beautiful and tomorrow will be better for sure.

For you it is, Munna

There are occasions when we look back and reminisce. Today (9th December) has been one such day-a very special day of the most loved, the youngest among us all – Rashmi- its her  birthday.

In age she has been three years younger to me but I have always looked up to her as my mentor, a guide, a guardian, a spiritually awakened one who has been endowed with exceptional intuitive powers and the most loving heart that has kept a 'you' on priority than 'me'.

Pitaji used to call her 'guruji' and would consider it a good omen to touch her feet before leaving for work. On a number of occasions she would bring a point home with such simplicity that would surprise and almost force all those older than her to ponder, take note of and accept per se.

Till date we can remember hordes of instances when the sense of humour that she has been gifted with made us guffaw or grin. She could ditto anyone's mannerism, style  of talking, anger or laughter with such an ease that would make us wonder at her talent. As a child she could imitate my father how he expressed anger or cleared all the clutter in his hyper mood and to our shock, Pitaji would insist on repeat of that imitation of his laughing whole heartedly!!

When she was in fourth standard, she delivered her maiden speech: bachchon ke pyare Chacha Nehru’ and won commendation at the state level. I still remember the grey pant and the white shirt she wore and how confidently she spoke and mesmerized the listeners!

There was something about her that always made me feel I lacked and felt inferior. As an infant she was sooooo beautiful-the fairest of all having inherited complexion of my mom. She was only in fifth class when she found me reading the best sellers and asked point blank: ' How would you feel if I read these novels?' Honestly, never after that I touched Gulshan Nanda's novels and other stuff like that.

Once I took a prized possession of hers-a silver ring that Pitaji's friend Robert C. Calmer had brought and thought she would never get to know. She never said anything to me but my mom told me how hurt she was. I don't think I can ever repay what I owe her.

She has been such a fine writer, orator, teacher, friend, daughter and sister. Its not known since when and why she took on herself to take care of everybody to the extent of giving a complex to others. As it does happen to most of good people most of the time, they don't get in return what they give, shower, spread as a matter of habit-nor really for the asking but as a matter of course. This alone could make anyone bitter, negative, unforgiving but I have been witness to still the better of her manifesting itself in her ever generous and always-happy-to-help attitude.

She knows when she smiles, shines we do and opposite of it, too is as true. This our un expressed, silent, involuntary dependence of ours puts a lot of onus on her but at least I have not been able to help this.

We have seen her calm and in command amidst the most devastating circumstances; we have witnessed the best of her coming out naturally, effortlessly when going has been the toughest personally. emotionally; we have seen her resilience, courage, forgiving-and-forgetting-and-going-on-giving and giving on and on. This has been especially true in case of the differently abled children that she has dedicated her life for.

We all love her and this comes only to tell her on this her special day.

Happy birthday, Munna.

It happens once in a while

Scene 1

A heated argument is taking place between friends or members of a family and someone makes a strong remark symbolic of anger, bitterness or pure assertion one is afraid of making in normal parlance  and leaves the scene in a huff banging the door behind.

Scene 2:

An exchange of messaging is taking place and one makes a point to ponder and leaves for -say a bath;

Scene 3-strictly official

The boss who is always right makes a point in the meeting and says: .....that's it.. and only 'the subordinate' knows where it pinches

Scene 4

A telephonic conversation is on and suddenly the phone is banged on one's ear (or head?) Leaving the other one speechless. Feeling foolish and hurt,  one looks at the phone, checks for network with disbelief or inability to realize this  too could happen afterall(why not?).

With half a century plus  two years (my god!!) at the back,  many  situations as such have been witnessed, lived,seen, experienced. Am amused right now but it didn't feel as pleasant, acceptable per se, gulpable and to say the least, digestible when of course, I was at the receiving end literally and symbolically.

It does denote (strictly in my opinion) that somewhere the sender, speaker, the boss, a hurt friend or kin is also aware of the impact (the hit) the remark is going to make, the discomfiture  its going to cause to the listener witness et al. On the other hand it also symbolises the taken-for-grantedness of receiver' s perception.

Its not always in case of negative remark or negativity exuding 'action' immediately thereafter -which concerns me, I feel this is also the case with a positive assertions we feel to have the similar imprint. In fact leaving the scene, closing the conversation chapter with forceful, positive assertion (the content I would leave  to your iagination) has immense potential to make one ponder, ruminate, inhale the impact (with deep breath!) and the purest of the smiles follow spontaneously.

Does it not happen or it does-with you too?