With Us You Dwell

As we grow in years, do we become more strong or weak is difficult to say. On certain counts, the grey mettle matters and we learn to take many many things in a stride , cool ly, maturely without reacting or atleast without voicing our reactions. On other counts, I feel we grow a bit more weak and vulnerable as time seems to slip through and our dependence grows on things and people we need support of. I feel the child in each one of us starts asserting again and we miss our parents more and more. 

Nine years ago on this day I lost my mother and thirty nine years (plus)ago had lost my father but I cannot remember a single day I have not thought of or missed them fondly, sometimes in hours of need indeed. Both of them taught us the lessons of life not by preaching but by precepts. Amidst days of penury and utter poverty, we saw in neither of them any complaint against destiny or God; even when the going was rough and tough, they stood their ground, uncompromising on principles and moral values and also stood by the dreams they nurtured for their children to grow in a world where they would get hordes of opportunities and make a dent with sheer hard work and commitment for the nation ; even when teaching seven daughters and provide each one of them the quality higher education in the highest seat of learning of the region i.e. Panjab University, Chandigarh was an undaunting challenge, they did not relent nor bent before anyone and managed the way -the how of which is, as on date, totally incomprehensible and unimaginable to me. Bit by bit all the ornaments of my mother had gone into our education but not a trace of pain anyone of us could feel on her face. On the contrary, it was always motivation, words of accolade for tiny achievments and exhortation to keep an eye on the future and never to rest on small laurels. 

They were made of sterner stuff, more humane, more kind, more broad in outlook, more deep in thinking, more intense in sensitivities. They both had common agenda to give all their daughters not just the best available education but also nurture in them the patriotism, the human kindness and the ability to empathise generously and never ever deviate from the path of righteousness and diligence. I miss them, miss their presence, their absence from near us feels like the void which can never be healed. But I also feel death cannot really do us part as their memories as well as the training they gave us enables us get answers whenever we are on the horns of dilemma or confront a ticklish choice. 

They were epitome of simplicity and grace, humility and boldness, patriotism and global outlook. Religion for neither of them was a bondage but a strength to be spiritual and above all serve as good human beings should. Throughout their life, they were always engaged in some kind of social and philanthropic activity deapite their financial constraints. Their endeavour was to serve whomsoever they could with their sweat and kindness, with fellowhood and solidarity. 

Their were strong pillars of strength who never let their dignity and self respect be shaken even amidst the most challenging times. Their richness was in standing their ground with unshaken humility and grace. The very fact that they made all out efforts to make all their daughters self reliant is amble testimony to their desire to see them 'move with their heads held high and minds without fear' and contribute their mite in nation building in whatever way the call of their duty exhorted.

Missing them with sadness or weakness is not something they would ever appreciate. It feels strong and supported even to remember them not just on the day special as today being Ma's 'Barsi' but in normal parlance, too we feel blessed to be their daughters and we understand that to be weak or vulnerable is easy but its unlike them, our esteemed Pitaji and Ma. We all love them and miss them while marching on in the direction of their dreams which are now our own aspirations.

THUS SPAKE JOZO

When I wake up these days, it is all blurred. I try to strain my eyes but I realise the catastrophe has befallen already. Have been feeling for quite a few days that everything is not all that good with me, I can not walk as fast nor run, my right foot trembles with my joint pain and I have become hard of hearing and I have to be shaken to convey whats expected of me.

They call me 'vridh' now, yes, I don't like it but I am referred to as 'bujurg', the senior most person of the house with my (human) age 80 years at my back. Its good that I am not able to listen to all these epithets as its difficult to gulp down the casually spoken simple truths at times,isn't it?

I am saggittarian and feel proud about this. They tell me I was short tempered since infanthood and always needed special attention. I ofcourse cannot recall what makes them 'judge' me thus but I do have fair idea that I have been freedom loving person nor I would interfere in anyone's issues nor I liked ( I still don't do) anyone meddling in my affairs- be it about my looks, height, beauty, hair, eyes etc etc. Being typical of my sun sign, I have so much loved the cosy comfort of my personal space which, for me is a non negotiable thing. Yes, I confess I have always loved attention, care, pampering ( Don't you, too?) and above all recognition and appreciation.

I have had my ups and downs in life that somehow I have never forgotten though I did forgive all for those traumas and tribulations I was put in when away from home. Those were real testing times for me. I never complained but that does not mean I never felt the pain of not being at home. But for my mentor who was also a friend in need and a friend indeed, I would not have survived that formidable phase. Once over, it took sometime to come to terms with the feel of being at home sweet home again and I vividly remeber inhaling deep breaths to reassure myself that it was too good to be true. I missed my friend in exile but then as they say, I was 'abundantly recompensed' . Sometimes, my mom asks me asto why do I not speak up whats on my mind but I feel if it's understood I don't need to say and if it's not to be understood whats the fun of telling. Life has been good, comfortable and most of the time I have had my way and everyone has respectfully accepted me as I am. But now I feel my health is failing me and I have to be taken so often to hospital where they prick me twice thrice and I cannot even cry much as it does not behove me but after that I feel good and energetic - good enough if pricks do that.

I do feel my mom is concerned about my health though she hardly ever tells me this. Recently when I suffered a stroke and I was taken out of station for intensive check up and surgery, I saw in my mom's eyes the despair and how I wanted to assure her I would come back safe and lo! I did. It was sheer good luck, they say that I got timely treated but I could not tell anyone that I too was scared of going away that day.

I am not sure what exactly is the reason though I do hear Corona word a lot these days but it feels good that mom is home most of the time and I feel at peace. My pace is slow but I do try to put a bold face and match her during the walk.

There is so much of sad tidings the TV is conveying whenever its switched on and honestly I have never appreciated this idiot box ever as it takes away attention from me to it.

But yes, I do so often think its good to feel healthy and positive as it enables me forget the pains that my ageing causes. I have never delved upon negatives and for me this present moment is all I have and if its beside my mom's, life feels cheerful, happy, worth it all. As long as I am on my feet and am hero of the house fully pampered, nothing bothers me, really. I am happy is all that matters to me now, at this moment because this moment is all that I have and all I need to have. 

All Time Soldiers

Over three decades that I have been in the services, my association with urban local bodies has been as long. Having led the Kurukshetra Development Board, Muncipal Council/ Corporation I have always felt awed by the kind of commitment that the lowest strata of work force, the safai karmis display in both peace and emergencies. For me, they are the people of my country with whom none would like to exchange the places or posts; for me they are the workforce that has proven its mettle beyond any shadow of doubt even in testing circumstances and challenging environs; for me they are the pivot around whom the whole system revolves and but for them everything would go haywire; yes, they are the corner stone of our social fabric whose value and worth is known only when the catastrophe befalls and they bear the brunt of putting things back to gear so that all our countrymen living in mohallas and localities, sectors and streets, slums and god forsaken places, roads and pathways can move with pride and safety.

There have been so many instances when I felt mesmerised by their consistency, zeal and enthusiasm to deliver and thus rising upto every occasion. Be it the social gatherings, political rallies, general cleaning and sweeping, garbage collection upto the dumping grounds amidst hazardous conditions or toiling to put flags or sprinkling roads and streets or stadias, they are silent horses at work who perform and none knows their names even. I have seen them work at unearthky hours of night or hot summers, or during downpours to save the areas from flooding and cleaning intensively in the aftermath of stagnant waters of rainy season; I have seen them ensure meticulous arrangements for the Republic Day or Independence day when all the participating children and elders go scot free after littering things, popcorn packs, chips empty packs and polythenes or papers, these soldiers clear them from all nooks and corners and the next day the places look as clean as if no irreponsible act had been done by the educated strata of our society. They are unsung heroes who remain hidden while the work they do is visible to all and sundry.

In this hour of crisis these all time soldiers of Nagar Nigam are contributing their mite everywhere- lifting garbage from the households, sweeping and cleaning roads and streets, sanitising all the areas and ensuring hygenic environs in public quarantine places, shelter homes for the migrant labour and doing their bit still more diligently in the containment areas. The peril to their life and health is immense. The personal protection equipments are there but their task is arduous, unenviable, risky and indeed challenging. They are the soldiers whose spirits are indomitable and high and their commitment to their employer institution indefatigable and sincere. I salute these warriors who are fighting the most gruesome war that our generation had not seen before. In shifts of night, wee hours of morning, late evenings and during the scorching heat of the day time, they work relentlessly to keep intact the whole health and hygiene system. My heart goes out to them because I see them working from close quarters day and night. A small thanks, a word of appreciation and motivation , a bit of recognition is suffice to keep the flame of enthusiasm burning for them.

But are we really sensitive to the truth of onerous task they are shouldering? Are we aware that their number is limited but the task they are doing is gigantic and huge? I feel pained when I receive complaints in tones intimidating and threatening from some irresponsible citizens and I pray: May we learn to boost the morale, to keep these soldiers spirits high, appreciate their ability to work in testing times and work conditions. 

I salute my Nigam force especially the safai karmis, the sanitising team, the spray and sweeping teams, their ASIs, Supervisors, the Chief Sanitary Inspector, the Spray team officers incharge, the garbage collector teams and persons on wheels for the purpose. The officers of all ranks have come together to join hands and help administration without caring for their rank or field. They have stood the test of time and with their sheer grit and guts, diligence and hard work, sincerity and commitment to deliver and perform makes me feel proud as part of the Nagar Nigam, Panchkula team. Our task is marching on and we shall overcome, we sincerely hope and trust.